While surfing the web, I came across something that I thought was very interesting, euphemisms. We all use them but how can we carry these out to describe our jobs, our lives or our relationships with others.
Well, I began looking into the work of euphemisms and began wondering how many of my own I could create. So I thought that I would spend some time looking at them and see how to create and use euphemisms.
“Moving forward” sounds like an improvement to many. This could mean many things, but I think that the best one is, the boss is right, he is tired of discussing the issue and its time for you to work on that particular project.
“Improvement Opportunity” is a concept of kicking you while you are down. A boss is saying that you are not very good at this particular task, so we are going to “move forward” so you can get another job, because you suck at this one.
A “Fast Pace Workplace” sounds like somewhere you would like to be. It sounds fun, fulfilling and the time on the job just flys by while you work. Well indeed it does. Mainly time goes by so quickly because there is not enough employees to complete the project, so you are doing double duty just to get the project finished.
When they “offer valuable experience”, I think that it means that we hired you do complete a job, even though you are not qualified for the position, we expect you to learn and conquer the task at hand.
They will then establish a program of ‘diversity in the workplace’. You have now spend an enormous amount of time fulfilling the duties of our company, and you have learned and developed procedures for handling the job, we want to now have you train this company (from another county) to perform the tasks you improved or developed.
We then move our focus on the actual employment titles.
Domestic Engineer = Housewife or Stay at home parent (since men are performing these tasks more).
Verbal Communications Expert = Receptionist
Environmental Movement Engineer = Trash hauler
What other term could we add to our list?